I'm a Mom First

by Jennifer Ramos, Textile Fetish

Hello, my name is Jennifer, soon to be 32. I have two children and I run a business in my home. Simultaneously!

Textile Fetish began around the time my first daughter Chloe was nine months old. I experimented making placements from leftover fabric bits, the majority of which I had used in making clothing for a friends' daughter the previous year. The placemats turned into flat purses which then sold on eBay.

Parents of young children know that up until about six to eight months of age, a baby is dependant and mostly immobile. She cries and indicates basic needs, but has little interest in toys much less cords and electrical outlets. Relatively speaking, the greatest frustration involves sleeping, feeding, and that stuff that results from feeding. But if you are a stay-at-home mom (or SaHM) that baby is your life, day in and day out.

Then suddenly there is mobility and curiosity all at the same time. It is draining, physically, but more than that it is mentally exhausting, trying to predict that little booger's next move. Will she be dining on doodle bugs today or dirt?

Enter the need for a creative outlet. It is constant. It is extreme. Daily self-analysis has told me that my business was born out of the need to live in my own mind. I was an introvert before this family gig. I keep trying to go back inside. Not long before I had my first child, I asked my doctor about Paxil, just like the commercial told me I should do. He opened a book and explained my symptoms did not fit the description of social anxiety disorder. "Wait until you have children," he said (or maybe that was his prescription?).

Textile Fetish is now three years old. My youngest daughter is ten months now. She is often into my wastebasket and under the sewing table. It is comforting having her so near, except for the cords in the same proximity, but all this serves to remind me that I am a mom first. I can sew while the children are sleeping or occupied. I even put an art easel in my studio for my three year old, you know, so we could be creative together, that is, while I am not cleaning up her supplies, tying her apron, washing her hands, or asking that she please watch out for her sister.

Yes, running this business at home with two children presents challenges, but without those challenges, I would go nuts. I would be on prescription medication. Most likely I would go back to full-time employment, making a moderate wage. I would complain about my job and my co-workers, the traffic and how I had to eat lunch (of a certain cheese-flavored snack) at my desk. I would shell out more than half my wages for childcare and presentable work clothes, and suffer through commuting in and out of the city. And who is to say if I would be the one to get the promotion?

For all of the above-listed reasons, and the fact that I actually enjoy what I do, I would not trade my situation for all the tea in China. I set my own hours and I have control over the pace at which I choose to grow my business. Some see children that as detrimental to the growth of a business, expressing that this holds them back from doing craft shows, from approaching shops. Personally, I think it sets controls based on what I can handle in this position, in my life that is.

It is all about the balance. If I took the time and energy required for shows, would I be able to handle an increase in business? Slow growth is what has made my business stronger, giving me a chance to learn new skills and improve my products. It is a lot like the trees we used to have in our backyard. Huge hackberries, also known as "junk trees" sprout up all over the place and grow very quickly. You have to watch them, because when the wind picks up, they'll break and fall on your house. Oak trees, on the other hand, grow slowly. They are strong, good for climbing, and unless somebody poisons them, they stay around a good long time.

Jennifer and her "Handmade Goods for Mom and Tots" can be found at www.textilefetish.com!